Life

I have been dismissed from Davis, until next summer session. Then i can start taking classes again and if i get a good grade, i can get reinstated. I had my chance, but i blew it. Again. My plan is to just work until spring semester, then enroll in chabot. Then get back on track.
i love this apartment. It was my first real taste of adulthood. My own place with my friends, going to school, working towards my own career. I didnt care much for school until lately. I really tried to focus and decided that im an adult now, i should act like one. I should work like one. I was looking forward to my first day of school, then i had a meeting with my counseler today and she told me i had been dismissed.
But really, who am I kidding? was I really going to work hard? was i really going to change just because I write about it in my blog to give myself inspiration? no.

Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
-- Charles Reade

I have built up a habit of being lazy. No, something even worse than lazy. Unmotivated. I have had this habit for so long that im afraid if i dont break it, it will become my character, and eventually my destiny. My father used to warn me that if i become lazy then i will end up as a bum on the street one day.
I never believed him, because heck, im korean and smart, ill get by. But now i realize what he truly meant.
With the attitude i had, i was surely on the path to becoming a nobody.


all of my life has led to this one moment. i have to decide here and now where my life will go for myself.