i just spent 30 minutes writing a blog in which i complained about everything i've been stressed about for the last 3 days. So stressed that i feel sick to my stomache constantly. But in the end i realized it doesn't matter, as long as i have faith in God.
But sometimes i wonder, is this it?
Is this life? just one problem after another, each one getting even harder than the last. How much pain can the human body endure? How many years until one has a mental breakdown.
Yes, tonight is one of my dark nights, tonight i must read more of God's word. For i fear if i lose grip of myself i will not recover for a long time. I feel as if i've fallen while tight rope walking across two cliffs, and im barely hanging onto the line with my fingers. If i get back up, ill just be starting over where i left off, but if i lose this tiny grip, i'll fall to certain death.
Sometimes i dont understand how people do it. Especially those who have been persecuted, lost loved ones, lost everything. Then i realize how amazing the Holy Spirit is. It uplifts us. It guides us. Without it my body would be nothing but a hollow shell.
I wish i could write more, but my mind is running around in circles tonight. i need sleep.
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1 comment:
hey joo..it sounds like you're experiencing some waves of uncertainty. i read a book a while ago that talked about faith and it said that trusting and praising God in uncertain times is how you really strengthen and show your faith to God. it looks like you're doing that! fasho.... hey... let's hike half dome~~~~~~~
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