I am a brainwashed Christian

Fuck your job, fuck your school, fuck you family, and fuck your friends. What are you left with in the end? yourself? God? i dont know. I need to research a lot more, and learn more about this God that watches over me. But i really have a hard time believing in a lot of the things in the Bible. Like the book of genesis, it tells of the creation of the universe. Are we supposed to take it literally? is it just one big metaphor that God made because we cannot possible comprehend what really happened with our extremely limited view of reality? What is reality? What is God's reality? i mean, if God really were omnipotent, i guess he really could have just made Adam out of the dirt, But really, are you gonna believe that? If someone on the street told you a fairytale story of how the earth was made, would you believe it? but why do you think the Bible is so true? why do you think YOUR way is the RIGHT way? Why didn't God make Adam from a star, or a tree, or light. Why dirt? why is it written that way in the Bible? Really, if you were there at the creation of mankind, i highly doubt that you would have seen dirt just transform into a human body. Its God, for crying out loud. Don't you think he would have done it in a much more powerful way? What im saying might seem too critical for some christians, but i honestly believe you cannot truly believe in something without asking questions and finding the answers to them. Right now, i don't know what to believe anymore. We all know the bible stories, and the story of Jesus, but what does it all mean when applied to my relationship with God? Am i supposed to live like Jesus? is that the point of this life? then i die and go to heaven for eternity? What is eternity? what is infinite? when you really think about it, our human minds cannot possibly comprehend what infinity really is. anyways, i think there are too many brainwashed christians. I realize now that i have been one all my life. I have just been fed all this information and have been told to believe it because of this, this, and that. And the opposition is wrong because of this, this, and that. Now i realize that i have to go out and listen to the opposition, then decide on my own. Thats the only way for me to have a true relationship with God, one where i can have real faith. One where i know that my God is the one and only true God not because i have been told so, but because i have seen, and experienced first hand that he truly exists in my life.