iamhellatall (1:01:04 AM) : If you're wondering, I like gabe sometimes
iamhellatall (1:01:21 AM) : I'm not forcing anything with him though
iamhellatall (1:01:25 AM) : we're really just letting things happen
iamhellatall (1:01:32 AM) : and it's happening, but that's expected
iamhellatall (1:01:35 AM) : but you know how things go
iamhellatall (1:01:41 AM) : I might get bored.. I probably will get bored
iamhellatall (1:02:21 AM) : He kissed me today at borders
So tell me, whose throat should i slit, hers, his, or mine? I've finally come to realize that the answer should be no one's. In reality, i'm not a big enough coward to go through with murder, or suicide. I won't ever stoop down to that level. But God how i wish i would sometimes. You know, i guess since we've been broken up for a week, i guess i'm not "supposed" to be angry at this conversation right? But what i didnt post is the conversation when she told me he had kissed her and then some while we were still dating. Yeah, i was pretty mad about that, but before i could actually get angry, she broke up with me. I guess a 21 month relationship doesn't mean enough to some people that they actually break it off with a 15 minute phone conversation. I guess some people don't realize that a decision to end a relationship should involve talking about it with the other person before they completely ignore them as a boyfriend.
What's amazing about human beings is that you can think that you know someone, i mean really really know someone, and then they can completely change within days. I don't know who Angelica Gaerlan is anymore. I really wish i did though. So i guess that's what i get for having too much faith in one human being right? in the end you are always left with yourself, and no one but yourself. Thats always been my motto. I resisted, fought, and argued to not give all of myself to one person, because i never have. I never had enough faith on any one human being to give everything i had to. But after i finally decide to put my trust, faith, and vulnerability all into the hands of a girl named Angelica Gaerlan, a week later she makes a decision of her own. See, she did exactly the opposite. She has always given all of herself to me. She was incredibly brave, and foolish. But now, a week after my decision, she decides to close up and treat me like any other worthless human being in her life. She finally takes up my motto, that in the end you are only left with yourself and so you should always look out for yourself and only yourself.
For a very very brief moment in my life, my motto was this, life isn't just about yourself. In the end, you can never be happy alone, and if you find someone worth fighting for, fight for them. Life is for loving and living. The world was such a beautiful place that week.
But now, i guess you can say i am back to my normal self. Before i met anyone special. There is absolutely no human being on this earth worth fighting for. In the end, i am only left with myself, therfore i should look out for only one person in this world, and that is me. I may enjoy spending time with you, i may smile and laugh with you, i may even seem to care for you. I may even seem to pour out my heart and share my deepest thoughts and feelings to you, but know that if you were to vanish from my life one morning i wouldn't give a rats ass about you. You were never anything to me, and you never will be. No one will be.
So tell me, whose throat should i slit, hers, his, or mine? I've finally come to realize that the answer should be no one's. In reality, i'm not a big enough coward to go through with murder, or suicide. I won't ever stoop down to that level. But God how i wish i would sometimes. You know, i guess since we've been broken up for a week, i guess i'm not "supposed" to be angry at this conversation right? But what i didnt post is the conversation when she told me he had kissed her and then some while we were still dating. Yeah, i was pretty mad about that, but before i could actually get angry, she broke up with me. I guess a 21 month relationship doesn't mean enough to some people that they actually break it off with a 15 minute phone conversation. I guess some people don't realize that a decision to end a relationship should involve talking about it with the other person before they completely ignore them as a boyfriend.
What's amazing about human beings is that you can think that you know someone, i mean really really know someone, and then they can completely change within days. I don't know who Angelica Gaerlan is anymore. I really wish i did though. So i guess that's what i get for having too much faith in one human being right? in the end you are always left with yourself, and no one but yourself. Thats always been my motto. I resisted, fought, and argued to not give all of myself to one person, because i never have. I never had enough faith on any one human being to give everything i had to. But after i finally decide to put my trust, faith, and vulnerability all into the hands of a girl named Angelica Gaerlan, a week later she makes a decision of her own. See, she did exactly the opposite. She has always given all of herself to me. She was incredibly brave, and foolish. But now, a week after my decision, she decides to close up and treat me like any other worthless human being in her life. She finally takes up my motto, that in the end you are only left with yourself and so you should always look out for yourself and only yourself.
For a very very brief moment in my life, my motto was this, life isn't just about yourself. In the end, you can never be happy alone, and if you find someone worth fighting for, fight for them. Life is for loving and living. The world was such a beautiful place that week.
But now, i guess you can say i am back to my normal self. Before i met anyone special. There is absolutely no human being on this earth worth fighting for. In the end, i am only left with myself, therfore i should look out for only one person in this world, and that is me. I may enjoy spending time with you, i may smile and laugh with you, i may even seem to care for you. I may even seem to pour out my heart and share my deepest thoughts and feelings to you, but know that if you were to vanish from my life one morning i wouldn't give a rats ass about you. You were never anything to me, and you never will be. No one will be.
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